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October 26, 2016

Pilot, why dont you fix my airplane?

Filed under: Uncategorized — neosurya @ 20:44

This post is in response to the following article:

http://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/ginger-thoughts/article/should-a-daughter-in-law-take-care-of-her-parents-in-law-an-honest-answer

The article just riles about the issue, forgetting to highlight the true cause(s):

  1. The importance of specific jobs in society is under-rated. How will it be if a pilot asks an engineer to do the job of flying, or the engineer asks a pilot to repair the airplane? In a human relationship, wife is a pilot sometimes, an engineer at other times. Ditto the husband. If one claims the other job to be insignificant, they are in for trouble. The problem these days is that one tries to “measure” the importance of an engineer vs a pilot.
  2. We define our value by a job, bank balance, car, or any other material object. We assign a value to ourselves based on our ability to gather such objects. These days, even husbands and wives measure each other with such barometers. Parents do the same thing to kids. Hopefully, someday we shall start giving importance based on values that we carry – like kindness, truthfulness, and generally “being human”.
  3. Once, my MIL had fallen sick. I showed up at their house, cooked meals and took her to the doctor for a few days. I considered this to be normal behavior. It became a story in my family. Sometimes, even repeated by my wife despite my insistence that this was just normal behavior that one should expect from every human being. It is sad that such “normal” behavior needs to be defined in terms of being a man, a woman, a son, or daughter etc. I am learning that in current society, there are many such normal things that have become abnormal.
  4. I believe I worked to the best of my ability in the situation described above. But I also know that my wife would have been better in that capacity. She is simply a more sensitive, more understanding person. Our capacities in different roles, our skin color, our gender, the length of our **** is an accident of biology or at best a play of creation. We should treat it as such and proceed with lives. In the process, use the best tool for the job at hand. Be a team.

Unfortunately, in this era of big data and happy meals, a big heart and a happy family has become scarce.

Disclaimer: After reading the article about husband-wife, I made following assumptions:

  1. Both wife and husband thought that the job of “going to cook, clean or mop for your parents” is somehow less important. But, no point blaming them alone; most of the society these days gives less importance to these tasks. In fact, if anyone hires a servant to do this work, they would pay him/her about Rs 4-5K max as salary. This amount is probably on the higher side :-/.
  2. Given the tone of the article, I assumed that the husband asked his wife because he did not know how to cook clean or mop. The latter is not excusable. Most men are brought up in a manner that they do not know how to mop, cook, or clean. This sucks.

 

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